A quaint and particularly endearing Southern peculiarity is also a wonderful expression of respect and affection. That peculiarity is the old Southern tradition, still practiced widely to this day, of addressing one's elders as "Mr" or "Miss", followed not by their surname but by their given name. My Grandmother McShan, for example, was known to everyone as "Miss Jessie", even to us grandchildren. We never once called her grandmother or any such term. She was Miss Jessie. 

Now not only was it this term of address followed by the first, rather than last name, but it was always "Miss" for the ladies, whether they were married or single. Miss Jessie was married all her adult life to my Grandfather, but no one would ever have thought to call her "Mrs. Jessie". No, she was Mrs. McShan, but she was Miss Jessie! Sometimes, too, it wasn't even the first name but a nickname, such as in the case of my Great-grandmother McShan, who everyone called "Miss Babe". What makes this venerable practice so endearing to us Southerners is that it, at one stroke, in one short phrase, allows one to show both respect (Miss) and affection (Babe).

I recall well the first time I was addressed as "Mr Tom". It was by some of the girls in my daughters' high school classes. The very first time I was a little taken aback for a moment, but almost instantly thereafter found myself pleased to be so addressed, realizing that those girls were, in fact, addressing me both with affection and respect all at once. I have, ever since, cherished being so addressed. Yes, it signifies having reached a certain point in life, not of a particular age or position, but just where the culture of the South seems to instinctively lead the young folks, and often some of the middle-aged ones, to greet their elders in this sweet, precious and noble way. I still do so, when addressing folks older than I whom I love, respect and admire.   

So when you see me, don't think I'll mind a bit to hear you call out, "Hey, Mr. Tom." Not a'tall! In fact, I can tell you right now, it'll make me feel good!  And this is one of those quaint Southern customs which I hope continues on forever. It is one of our best!

"Eve'nin, Miss Angie!"   

Copyright July 16th, 2008, by Tom Woodard

NOTE: If you're a little uncertain as to when to use this phrase, just remember that there's no hard and fast rule on the subject. It's more instinctive. But I'd say a good rule of thumb would be not to address anyone in this way who was not at least ten to fifteen years your elder (not that there's anything wrong with doing so). And it's never a proper form of address when speaking to a stranger or bare acquaintance. If you're a Southerner, you just seem to know when it's right. If you're not, just hang around down here long enough and you'll acquire the feel of it!