Oh, why do I sometimes feel
So melancholy and blue?
I have the sunshine - and you!
Bills exceeding ability,
Meager income, surplus none,
Cannot be the reason, for
Such things bother me none,
The Lord always provides,
He always has, always will,
So what if we’re climbing,
Striving, up difficult hills?
No, I think it’s the past,
Invading my consciousness,
My memories sweet or bitter,
Of loves lost, childhood,
Friends passed to life anew,
Others to hell’s dark brew.
Of innocence 'ever lost,
Like frost or morning dew,
Of life grown shorter, and
Shorter still; mistakes made,
Opportunities passed over,
Offenses unrecoverable,
Committed, unthinkingly,
In youth, of selfishness, of me,
Of my need, and not yours,
Short of sight and of what
Consequence , no thought,
Not considered, no care but
For me, the selfishness of
Youth wasted by ignorance,
And lustful desires untold;
Now reflecting, ages since,
In the clear light of that
Understanding brought by
The reflection of years,
Regret of losses uncounted,
But weighing heavily on
The consciousness of them,
I see all that could have been,
But never came to be for me;
All my own doing, undoing
All that was so desirable,
Although so sadly undesired.
For trinkets gold was lost,
For harlots crystal tossed,
And all that could have been,
By my shallow sightlessness,
Forever lost; Melancholy.
