You Might Be a Threat to National Security if....
         by Tom Woodard

In the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy, with his “You Might be a Redneck” series, I offer the following, as a sign of the times.

You might be a threat to national security if . . .

You revere the Constitution of the United States of America.
You pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of
America, and to the Republic for which it stands, and
not to the government, nor to any particular politician or party.
You believe in Freedom of Speech.
Your believe in the right of the People to worship as they choose.
You believe in the Rule of Law, and not the arbitrary and capricious rule of men.
You believe that the right to keep and bear arms is essential to
the safety of all of our other freedoms and liberties.
You believe that the press should be independent of the
government, and report the truth, rather than the
political propaganda of the powers in Washington.
You are a member of the Armed Forces, having returned from a
theater of combat, such as Iraq or Afghanistan; and having served your Country honorably and with courage and distinction.
You are a retired member of the Armed Forces.
You are African American.
You are a traditional Conservative.
You are an economic Conservative, although perhaps a social Moderate.
You dare defend your rights.
You are White.
You have ever attended, or supported, a ‘Tea Party’.
You watch FOX News, even if you also watch CNN.
You have read ‘Common Sense’, by Glenn Beck.
You believe that what Glenn Beck and Lou Dobbs say makes sense.
You honor our Founding Fathers, and believe they were
smarter and wiser than the run of politicians - Republican or Democrat - we now live under.
You are a Patriot.
You are politically incorrect.
Your heart thrills to the sound of ‘The Star-Spangled Banner’
being sung or played.
You believe that America is a great nation, or at least that it was, until recently, a great nation, and can be again if
‘We the People’ will stand up for her.
You believe that our international borders should be secure.
You believe that anyone who wishes to live in the United States
should be required to learn to speak English and swear
allegiance to the flag of the United States of America.
You believe, as George Washington believed, that Democracy
without Faith cannot long endure.
You believe that able-bodied men should be required to work
for a living.
You oppose gay marriage, even if you are not opposed to ‘civil
unions’ for gays and lesbians.
You believe our immigration laws should be enforced.
You believe in telling ‘the truth, the whole truth, and nothing
but the truth, so help you God’.
You believe in the sanctity of contracts, that when you enter
into a contract you should be able to rely upon it, and
that the company on the other end of that contract
should not be allowed to unilaterally modify it to your
detriment.
You believe that anything the government can do in the way of
social services, private charities and Churches can do better, more efficiently, at lower cost, and with better
results.
You believe that ‘volunteers’ should not be paid, and that the
term ‘paid volunteer’ is an oxymoron.
You say what you mean, and mean what you say.
Your word is your bond.
You will defend America’s Freedoms, even to the death, if
necessary.
You believe on the Lord Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.
You are a ‘born again’ Christian.
Like Patrick Henry, you do not shrink from saying ‘Give me
Liberty or give me Death’.
You like to think for yourself.
You will, and do, defend the rights of others to disagree with
you.
You believe in Free Enterprise, Capitalism, and the right to
succeed or fail in the market place.
You oppose our government spending trillions of dollars that we don’t have.
You oppose ‘Tarp’ and bail-outs.
You believe that the free market must be allowed to work
both when a company succeeds and when it fails.
You oppose giving more power to the amorphous Federal
Reserve, which answers to no one.
You believe in responsible, sensible regulation of the market
place, but not in the government becoming the owner
of private businesses.
You believe that auto manufacturers know more about making
cars and trucks than politicians and lawyers do.
You don’t believe that we should saddle our children and
grandchildren with our massive debts, just so we can
avoid the consequences of our own misbehavior.
You don’t believe ‘Cheerios’ is a drug.  
You think there’s not much difference in a Republican and a
Democrat in Washington, D.C.
You don’t believe we can spend our way out of debt.
You believe that handing essential governmental functions to
‘Czars’ who are answerable to no one is a grave threat
to the democratic process.
You believe that the ‘Washington crowd’ has lost touch with
the real America and real Americans.
You believe, regardless of whether you are pro-life or pro- choice, that late-term, partial-birth abortions are nothing more nor less than the murder of a living child.
Your first allegiance is to Jesus Christ, and your second is to
your Country.
You don’t trust politicians, and believe that their first allegiance is to their own re-election.
You believe in term limits for members of Congress.
You believe, as the Founding Fathers did, that the government
should fear and be the servant of the people, and not the
other way around.
You believe that we are all endowed by our “Creator with
certain unalienable rights, that among these are life,
liberty, and the pursuit of happiness”.
You believe in individual freedoms and liberties, not just the
‘corporate good’.
You believe that our children are being brain-washed by
pseudo-history, political correctness, socialism, etc, in the public schools.
You believe that parents should be integral participants in the education of their child, and a child’s primary
instructor in matters of right and wrong, faith, etc.
You believe that a man’s (or woman’s) home is their Castle.
You believe that the State is interfering too much in parenting.
You fear that ‘Big Brother’ government is endangering our
way of life and our freedoms.
You oppose our government becoming dangerously in debt
to a Communist regime in China.
You don’t believe that our government can, or should,   negotiate with evil.
You believe in fiscal responsibility.
You don’t believe that our freedoms are negotiable, or that they
are appropriate items of trade for economic or political
security.
You love your Country.
You are a person of honor and integrity.
You believe in the traditional family unit.
You are not ashamed of your heritage, your Country, or your God.
You despise double-talk, and appreciate a straight answer.
You don’t believe that the incumbent President of the United States is either ‘God’ or ‘a God’ as MSNBC and ‘Newsweek’ do.
You find it strange that atheists now believe in ‘God’ or ‘a God’ of their (or his) own making.
You don’t believe that being ‘above’ or ‘beyond’ being an
American, or being ‘post-American’ is an attribute.
You oppose, adamantly, ‘one world government’ and the ‘new
world order’.
You oppose subjecting America or American citizens to international ‘justice’.
You don’t trust the United Nations in any shape, form or
fashion.
You don’t believe that being patriotic and identifying yourself
as an American is provencal or old-fashioned.
You believe that those who live in America but seek to destroy
her should be invited to live elsewhere.
You believe that the statement “America is the greatest nation
on earth. Help me to change it”, is an oxymoron.
You believe that any politician who says the Constitution of the
United States has flaws and needs changing is off base
and dangerous.
You believe that ‘Progressivism’ is anathema to a Republic.
You believe the greatest danger we now face as a democratic Republic is from within.
You believe in using common sense, and that ‘zero tolerance’ is tantamount to ‘zero brain function’ .
You don’t believe that a green plastic water pistol is a gun.
You oppose socialism, fascism, and communism.
You still say ‘God bless America!’.

Copyright April 27th, 2009, by Tom Woodard
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